October is Let’s Talk Month, and young people deserve the information they need to make healthy decisions. Whether someone is a direct caregiver, leads a group of young people in the community, or spends several hours a day teaching a group of students, they might have influence over youth and be considered a trusted adult.
We believe trusted adults have a responsibility to discuss hard topics with young people and help them navigate adolescence and the world they are growing up in. Much like the spooky decorations for this season, talking about sexual health with young people can be nerve-racking, but it’s necessary. So, let’s talk!
But wait… where could someone start?
A great place to start is by letting the conversation develop naturally from whatever is going on in the environment. This could look like watching a couple on a TV show and taking the time to ask, “Do you think that relationship is going to last?” Or, when passing the condoms in the drugstore on the way to get cold medicine, saying, “Did you know there is no age requirement to buy those?”
Thankfully, October has plenty of opportunities to easily start discussions about sexual health, safety, autonomy, and healthy relationships.
Opportunities to talk about sexual health this October:
- Costumes
- Halloween is a time for kids to dress up as anything they want and trick-or-treat for candy, but it’s also become an adult holiday with sexualized versions of costumes. Take notice of sexualized costumes and spark up a conversation with a young person about why this happens. You could talk about sex often being used as a marketing strategy to make money, societal norms about when it’s deemed appropriate to wear revealing clothes, or how gender stereotypes and standards of desirability influence commercial products.
- Additionally, this time of year is a great opportunity to discuss that clothing does not consent for someone. No matter what they are wearing, even if it’s a costume, they are a person with the right to consent to or deny any touch.
- Scary Movies
- Sex is often portrayed in Halloween and horror movies. You might spark up a post-movie discussion with the youth in your life after a movie night at home or a trip to the movies with friends. Sometimes sex scenes have a purpose, creating a sense of vulnerability and heightened emotions to make scary scenes more intense. Other times, they might be there to be provocative, boost sales, or perpetuate double standards when it comes to gender and sex. (e.g., the female character who is the most sexualized will often die first, while the most “moral” character may die last, or maybe even survive). Facilitating conversations about media could open doors to more questions and encourage youth to be curious about how sex, relationships, and gender are portrayed in the media.
- Halloween Parties
- For older teens, Halloween parties might be on the radar. Parties in general are a great opportunity to talk about safe choices, drinking responsibly, and social pressures. Consent is a key part of these discussions because consent requires sobriety and safety – it is impossible to consent if someone has had too much to drink, is on a substance that causes them not to think clearly, or if they simply do not feel like “no” is an option.
- Halloween is an especially good time to discuss this because people are in costume, the adolescent brain is still developing, and risk-taking might seem fun and exciting. But there are realistic consequences no matter how unreal it feels to be in costume. It’s vital to remember that safe sexual health includes knowing your boundaries and consent above all else.
Talking to a young person about sex doesn’t have to be scary, and every little conversation that’s started allows them to see you as more of a trusted source for information. If you are a parent looking for additional resources for discussing sexual health with your adolescent, check out our online resources.